Well maybe it’s unfair to plague these other two releases with the ‘Boll’ moniker. However, it has been proven* that just being released to DVD the same week as an Uwe Boll movie is detrimental to video sales.
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale – Please… someone stop him. Uwe Boll strikes again, forever dooming video game based movies to a reputation of crap. Luckily for us this 80 million dollar craptastrophe did only 3 million on the opening weekend and only 10 million or so world wide. Apparently he admitted disappointment and is saying he will stick to smaller films in the future. We can only hope. Look at the cast in this thing! How did these good people get wrapped into such a mess?
On another note he also made the ‘Postal’ movie that is to be released in May… hopefully that will be the final nail in the coffin. Also in the currently in development Postal 3 video game you will have the opportunity to kill Uwe Boll. If that’s not a selling point, I don’t know what is.
Juno – J Jonah Jameson’s daughter Kitty Pryde gets knocked up by George Michael. Michael Bluth and Sydney Bristow try to adopt the baby. If you get all of these references, you’re on the right site.
We had mentioned Johnny Lee a few weeks back and he seems to really be getting some recognition these days. (I’m not claiming we had anything to do with it.) He gained quite a bit of notoriety with his Wii hack videos and TED.com now has a new video posted where he gets into some of his concepts. Can’t wait till he gets some funding, I’m sure he’ll be working on my robot slaves or something equally important within the next few years.
In a surprise move this week the DVD industry moved new releases to Wednesday. David Van Davidson had this to say “All of you DVD ‘fans’ who’ve been converting over to Blu-ray are ungrateful assholes. We’re moving this week’s releases to Wednesday to remind you sons of bitches that we hold the cards and to stop taking us for granted.”
I swear this is the truth and it has nothing to do with me slacking off and not posting these yesterday.
Walk Hard – Judd Apatow’s re-imagining of the Johnny Cash story. Hopefully more interesting and entertaining than the trailers I’ve seen. Maybe he’ll do the ‘shake and bake’ thing.. at least that will be good for a laugh.
There Will be Blood – One of the big contenders for pretty much every award this year. I’m sure its a great story, great acting, etc. etc… but will it be better than Doomsday?!
Lions for Lambs – Tom Cruise takes a break from speaking to aliens to bring us this story about forbidden love that will either fully unite or entirely sever the animal kingdom once and for all. At least that’s what I want it to be about… I got to the part that said starring Robert Redford and Meryl Streep and I fell asleep. When I woke up the animal kingdom thing was what I remembered from my dream.
My take.. Netflix the first two and maybe the last one if you’re desperate… even the ‘real’ critics didn’t think highly of LfL.
So great news for all you Jericho fans out there. Showtime has just announced that they have picked up the former CBS show for two full seasons. They also made the statement that ” being an elective cable channel we can allow the true Jericho story to be shown without the sanitizing necessary for network television”. Could you ask for more? Not only are they continuing the series, but from the sound of it, they’re looking to make it edgier and more kick ass than before.
The cable channel says you can expect to get your fix again in late summer ’08. Read the full story here.
Of the 3 posted above, 2 of these movies feature cutting (throats, edges) and 2 feature blowing* (hard, long). This is like that whole thing from geometry class where a square is always a rectangle but a rectangle is not always a square. In this case we’re talking about the relationship of things being cut, and things being total piles of suck.
Sweeney Todd - If you like Johnny Depp, meat pie, blood and singing then this is the movie you’ve been waiting for. I’m not sure why, but I really enjoyed this movie, very twisted and macabre…oh, never mind.
Alvin and the end of Jason Lee’s movie career - After this and Underdog in the same year I just cannot fathom what the extremely talented Jason Lee is thinking about when he gets involved with this crap. Oh, the non stop hookers and blow he can afford from the giant movie star paychecks… never mind again.
Cutting Edge 3! - Chuck called me last night and insisted I include this movie today. Who ever though we needed not just one ‘Cutting Edge’ but three needs to be brought to justice and face charges of ‘crimes against humanity’. I suggest they be executed by guillotine for a sense of irony.
Chris Carter and other members involved in the production of the new X-files movie announced some details about the upcoming film. Apparently the movie will not involve the main X-files story about alien abduction/etc but will take place in modern day and will take into account the established lineage of the show. Meaning that the shows events will be relevant to where Mulder and Scully are at this point and time.
Although the film is coming out this July 25th, Carter and Fox Television have not yet come to an agreement on what the title should be. Personally I propose one of the following:
The X-Files: Pretend like seasons 7 and 8 never happened
So this week is pretty damn anemic. As long as I can remember I have been checking IMDB to see the latest DVD releases and never have I seen such a light Tuesday. Usually the page is populated with re-releases, director’s cuts, box sets and a few dozen things you could not possibly imagine people wanting to own. As far as I am concerned this week has The Mist. The Best of the Price is Right?! WWE Triple H: King of Kings?! Magic:Fantasy Bellydance?! (ok, maybe that last one would be worth fast forwarding through)
The Mist – Adaptation of a Stephen King story that:
A. Doesn’t suck (the Stand)
B. Is less than 20 years old ( Carrie, Cujo, Firestarter, Maximum Overdrive, Christine)
C. Actually fucks with your head the way a good Stephen King story should
Some of the Iconogeeks had seen this when it was out in the theaters and we all found it to be tense and exciting. One of those movies that you walk out of and feel like you got the crap beaten out of you (in a good way).
Edit: Just read about the DVD 2 disc edition. Apparently it includes a black and white version of the film that many people are saying is even more unsettling than the theatrically released version. I’d have to say that sounds pretty damn cool.
In pretty much the biggest show of geekery humanly possible, 80 people dressed up as video game characters to set a new world record for the the Guinness World Record Gamer’s Edition. I do find it hard to believe though that it took only 80 to establish a world record for the largest gathering of game characters…Â I do believe that some of our friends in Japan would scoff at 80. You could probably find more than 100 on a random street corner in Tokyo on a rainy Friday night, and they would have all just been out for a walk and just happened to run into one another. I expect this will be a fast record to fall.
I am Legend -Will Smith fights off hordes of things that used to be human. Includes a new cut of the movie that a lot of people are saying pulls the movie together better. I saw this one in the theater and enjoyed it, albeit it was a bit of a downer at times.
Southland Tales – Richard Kelly of Donnie Darko fame follows up with something that is all together confusing. I saw this in the theater about 5 months ago and I still have yet to decide if I loved it or hated it.. thought it was art or crap. I guess the fact that I still think about it says something. I’ll probably buy it in hopes of figuring something out… if you have any conclusions after seeing it, please let me know so I don’t go insane.
Revolver -Guy Ritchie (check) Jason Statham (check) Ray Liotta (check) Sounds good so far eh? Made in 2005? Uh-oh. Apparently it had some trouble getting released and when it was finally in theaters a few months ago it was quickly in and out of only a handful. Need to check it out for the aforementioned reasons, I’ll let you know where it lands on my scale*.
* I have determined that my own personal scale differs than the normal, some would say ‘sane’ individual.
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