Great news! Our computer overlords are almost here.

Published
by
jason
on February 6, 2008
in Computers and Just Cool
.

hal.jpg

So some researchers over at IBM are in the process of building a computer that can RUN THE ENTIRE INTERNET.

Seriously, that warrants caps.

Read the full article for a bit of explanation as to how they plan to make this machine capable of hosting the entire web as an application.

I for one welcome our computer overlords and offer forth my services as a liaison between them and the human plague race. In exchange I would like to be paid in robot slave girls. Oh, I’ll require an office with a hot tub as well.

Thanks.

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4 Responses to “Great news! Our computer overlords are almost here.”

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  1. 1 Your Robot Overlord
    February 6, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    You will be paid in robot slave ferrets and the hot tub will be filled with boiling oil (the only known cure for android’s foot). These are our terms. Take it leave it. Please sign below:

    I______(human name)_________ do hereby grant my biological rights to rectational invasion and any and all exploratory minutia as detailed in the robot code of ethics. I hereby grant my weak human body to be used for the betterment of robotkind. I will also indemnify and hold harmless any and all robots from such possible side effects as anal fissures, dry eye, rash, stomach pain, neck pain, runny nose, and cotton-mouth. In addition, I further state that I am not on an MAOI inhibitor.

    Signed________(human scum)_____
    Date______(todays, you pathetic human scum)______
    Blood type ______(for the mulchers)______

  2. 2 jason
    February 6, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    I’ve sent your contract to my lawyers, the only thing they want changed is the reference to “weak human body”. Clearly they have me confused with someone else.

    If Chuck decides to opt in he can use this contract as is.

    Thanks for your fast response, can’t wait to work for you.

  3. 3 Your Robot Overlord
    February 6, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    Ahhh yes, you are referring to the “Pillar of Human Manhood.” He has already signed our bio-forming contract and will be responsible for the next generation of MEHWD’s (Massively Endowed Human Worker Drones) or just “Moods.”

    Thank you for you cooperation. We look forward to mulching you.

    XOXOXO
    Your Robot Overlord

  4. 4 ben
    February 6, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    you guys need to lay off the diet soda… i think its makin you weird..

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/05/health/nutrition/05symp.html?em&ex=1202446800&en=62bc9a15e7b0537c&ei=5087%0A

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